A Burden Heavy but Shared
by Elenhin
Summary: We all carry burdens, some are heavy and some are lighter. Even the heaviest burden can however be lighter for being shared. Bilbo wishes to ease the burden that he knows Thorin carries. One Shot.


**Author's Note:**This is a story from the Hobbit. Movie inspired. Some of us carry a heavy burden, one that might break the spirit, but a heavy burden is still lighter for being shared.

**Warning:** _The warning is placed here for vinsmouse, who wanted a spew warning here, claiming it might be a bad idea to drink while reading the funnier parts. So please keep in mind that drinking any kind of beverage while reading this, might be hazzard'ous to the health of your screen._

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Hobbit, nor the actual dwarves. All I own is my own three inch high Fili and Kili and they shall suffer naught for my stories…

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_**A Burden Heavy but Shared**_

The whole company was fairly quiet, certainly more quiet than Bilbo was used to. He had not been with the Dwarves long but already he was getting used to their ways, and they were loud. It did not matter what they were doing, they would do so loudly and with much laughter. They sang and played often, music being a part of almost everything they were doing. Yet now there was no singing and no one played anything.

It had been a tiresome day but still Bilbo did not quite understand it, it hadn't been that bad. They'd been travelling through marshland and had been forced to walk beside the horses most of the time as the ground was treacherous. Every now and again a pony would stumble and someone would fall. Certainly there had been some laughter when someone fell, but not much.

Kili had sought to lighten the mood by joking and teasing and had caused himself to fall face first into a large puddle of water. Fili had tried to help him up only to lose his footing and fall down beside his brother. With the two of them there Bofur decided there was no reason for him to get wet and he used their backs as stepping stones. Getting across dry footed he grinned and chuckled.

The others laughed as well, but not for long and then once Dwalin had pulled the two young Dwarves from the water they continued on.

They struck camp quickly, everyone seeing to their own assigned task. Óin and Glóin soon had the fire started while Bombur was already sorting out their supplies to cook supper. Kili and Fili had already gone for wood and water and Bilbo went with them. Dori was making sure that Ori had something dry to change into and Nori scolded him for fussing and mothering the youngest brother.

Gandalf lit his pipe while Thorin stood still looking out over the dull and lifeless countryside.

There was nothing to see, nothing to give a weary soul hope and he sighed tiredly before he turned back to watch his own company. They were loyal and willing, but they were not really the warriors he needed. Dwalin and Balin were skilled but Balin was getting old and Dwalin already carried far too many scars. Bifur had already been severely injured once, and while Kili and Fili were well trained they were young and inexperienced. They should have been at home still, training or perhaps noticing females for the first time but instead they were here.

It was with a heavy heart Thorin accepted his food from Bombur and then sat apart from the others to eat as he gazed off into the distance.

Bilbo noticed, and it saddened him to see their leader so troubled. He could understand the reason for it, but even so he wished there was something he could do. Everyone was troubled by his mood, Kili and Fili in particular. Thorin had snapped at his youngest nephew though the dark haired youth really had done nothing wrong.

He stood with his head hanging as Fili rubbed the nape of his neck with a gentle hand. "Our Uncle carries a heavy burden, it was no fault of yours," he soothed.

"But I fear I made it worse," Kili admitted.

"No," Fili shook his head and smiled. "You didn't make anything worse. It's just Uncle and the way he's always been." His light chuckle made Kili smile and Fili pulled him closer for something that was both a hug and a game of wrestling.

Bilbo, feeling the need to do something found himself drawn towards Thorin who sat brooding and moved in that direction. He meant to go over to him, to find some words of comfort though he knew Thorin did not care much for him.

Balin halted him with a gentle hand on his arm. "I wouldn't do that laddie," he smiled. "He won't thank you for the company."

"But I must do something," Bilbo mused. "He looks so sad and weary, so troubled."

"Oh, he is," Balin nodded. "He carries a heavy burden our leader, and when the burden wears him down he will seek solitude. He does not want company then, not even from us who has served him our whole life."

"I, I guess I can understand that," Bilbo admitted. "I only wished to help."

"Aye, I believe you did," Balin gave him a kind smile. "And know that it is appreciated. But for now it is better if we leave him to his own company and find what comfort we can in our own."

"Yes, I believe you are right," Bilbo nodded again.

"I've had many years to get to know him," Balin smiled. "Right now, he would not even speak to my brother or me. Come, let's see if we can't share a quiet pipe instead. That is the good thing you know, with Thorin in a mood like this those two young hell raising nephews of his will watch their step. It's the only chance of real peace and quiet we have."

Bilbo chuckled in amusement over Balin's words. He knew he did not really mean it but just the same there was a certain amount of truth to his words. Fili and Kili were hell raisers and rarely calm and quiet unless they were asleep. Sometimes, not even then.

"If you do not mind me asking Mr. Balin, have they always been so, so exuberant?" he finally decided.

"Since the day they were born," Balin confirmed. "Though Fili has always been more quiet than his brother. Now, some made the mistake of thinking it made him calmer and less likely to cause mischief, but it only made it so much harder to know what he was getting up to. Them two were right little terrors when they were young Dwarflings, and the sole reason why my beard is so white I should say." He gave the two young Dwarves a fond look. "But make no mistake, they are well worth every white strand and I would not have them different."

"I don't imagine you would," Bilbo mused. "I have not known them long, and I do not imagine I know them even half as well as you do, but I care for them."

"And they care for you, and you will know it too," Balin chuckled. "You will know it when they play their jokes on you, and they will. It is just a matter of time and I'm rather surprised they have not already done so. When they do, take no offence, they mean no harm. It's just their ways."

"I will keep that in mind," Bilbo accepted the tobacco that Balin offered him and settled to enjoy the pipe. It could be quite nice talking to Balin but even so he could not help but glance over towards Thorin and he just wished there was something he could do. Balin had said Thorin would want no company though, and Bilbo didn't doubt the wisdom of his words so it took him by surprise when he saw Fili slowly walk over towards his uncle and sit down beside him.

"I thought you said he wouldn't accept anyone right now," he mused. "Does not Fili known?"

"Fili knows," Balin mused, puffing lightly on his pipe. "And a few minutes ago not even he was welcome, but now he is, and he knows that too."

"I don't understand," Bilbo frowned. "I did not see anything change."

"No, you did not," Balin smiled again, patting his shoulder. "And neither did I, but Fili knows. He would not be so foolish as to make matters worse by intruding on his uncle. He waited until his presence would be accepted if not welcome. But then Fili is the only one accepted now."

"Because he is his nephew?" Bilbo asked. Certainly Thorin would accept his nephews even if he did not accept anyone else.

"No, because he is the heir," Balin inhaled deeply on his pipe, watching the smoke drift slowly upwards. "He understands the burden, because he is the heir to it. He knows well what a heavy burden it is. Kili does not, and Thorin no matter how much he loves him could not share it with him now. Fili knows enough of the weight to share it, just as he understands Kili's need for play and laughter."

Bilbo blinked, Balin's words made perfect sense but even so the truth in them was sometimes hard to grasp.

"Fili is between them two," Balin sought to explain. "Between Thorin and the burden he carries with him from Erebor. But he is also between Kili and the hope the youth feels. He knows both sides. Kili does not have the same understanding of all that we lost back then."

"But wouldn't you know it better than Fili," Bilbo blurted out. Then he realized how it must have sounded and sought to apologize. Balin though chuckled quietly.

"I know what you meant Master Hobbit. And yes, I was there, right next to Thorin when we lost our home, and so many of our people. I was there when we all but lost hope. But you see, when Fili was born he was our hope. A new heir to the line of Durin, and one badly needed. Hope for a people who had none and it helped us all to go on. Kili was just as treasured, but it was Fili who had to share the burden Thorin carries, even from the day he was born."

"Such a heavy burden, and he is still so young," Bilbo shook his head.

"The lad has a pair of strong shoulders," Balin smiled. "And it's a good thing. Much responsibility weighs upon him, not only the duty of the heir. He is also responsible for his brother, and for his uncle as much as anyone can be."

"I would not think Thorin needs anyone to be responsible for him," Bilbo shook his head.

"No lad, not many would," Balin agreed. "And yet it's true. We have all sworn our duty to him, and we would gladly give our life for him. Without any doubt we would, but it is more than that for Fili. It is also the duty of a son to his mother. Perhaps not fair but it is the way it is and it can not be changed."

"Just like I could not convince him he shouldn't give Kili his coat when he was the one who was cold," Bilbo smiled. "I tried to tell him it made no sense, but he only said Kili was younger and it was his duty to take care of him."

"And Fili will be frozen solid before he allows Kili to shiver," Balin snorted. "Aye, exactly like that. "He still gives us hope you know, in everything he does. Not just his devotion to his brother and uncle though that is indeed beyond question."

"I think I understand then," Bilbo mused.

"I think you do," Balin agreed. "Thorin carries a burden so heavy it's beyond our comprehension, but it is a shared burden. Even if he shares it only with Fili I would imagine the weight is a little lesser for it."

"But who takes care of Fili?" Bilbo asked. "If he is the only one to help Thorin carry the burden, then who helps him?"

"We all do," Balin smiled. "Kili does with his laughter and his love. By letting Fili do all the things he does to protect him, even when there is no need, for it helps Fili to know he's doing so. I'd give my life for Thorin, and he knows it and it helps him. I'd do the same for Kili and he knows that too, that we all would in a heartbeat."

"And for him?" Bilbo noticed he had not included Fili in his vow, and it seemed odd for him.

"A burden shared is lighter for it," Balin started. "But there are those that we can not share and then they grow too heavy for us and they break us down. Before, Fili would not approach him, because then Thorin could not share. When he could, then Fili went to him. That I would give my life for his uncle and brother Fili knows, and it makes his burden easier to bear. But for him to know I might pay for his life with my own, that's a burden he would have to carry, and one that can not be made lighter by anyone. I would do it, and never think there could have been a worthier cause, but I will not let him carry that burden too."

Bilbo was quiet, there was nothing he could say. He understood what Balin was saying, and he understood why Thorin always seemed to struggle so hard, because he was. He carried on his shoulders the weight of every Dwarf he had taken on responsibility for, everyone he counted as his kind. He carried the weight of Erebor and their home under the mountain, and that it had not crushed him yet Bilbo could not understand.

To help him carry it all he had Fili, the golden haired Dwarf who always seemed so warm and welcoming. Who smiled so easily and extended that warmth and friendliness without censor. He served as a big brother not only to Kili but to anyone who needed one, anyone he felt needed one. Fili was always there to help them, even before you realized you needed the help at times. How the blond Dwarf had come to be so generous with himself Bilbo did not know, and it wasn't important. He did however vow to himself then and there, that should the need rise he'd willingly risk his life, risk everything, to save them. Thorin, Fili and Kili, it did not matter who it was, they were all just as important. He wouldn't let them know though, especially not Fili would ever know of it, for it was a burden he was not willing to put on shoulders still so young.

The burden he carried was heavy enough as it was, even if it was lighter for being shared…

**The End**

_Please review, The Cricket is hungry…_

**Notice:** Illustrations for this story, as well as other stories can now be found on my Tumblr. elenhin-michael dot tumblr dot com/ It is on a separate side and I have had some trouble so if you can not find it but wish to see it, please contact me.

Thank you for reading, Elenhin


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